Seoul Searching

Come August 13, I will be 21-years-old. I was a night baby born at 11:00pm, maybe that's why I'm a night owl. Less than three months from now will mark the day that I was born in Seoul, and given up to the adoption agency. It's weird for me to think that my family wasn't there for my birth just like they have been for every other milestone in my life -- and even though Matt couldn't join us on this trip, this marks another milestone in my life, one that I will surely never forget. My mom tells me how she used to long for my arrival and stay up at night and stare at my picture.

As I sit in bed in my hotel room in Seoul reflecting on this trip, I cannot help the tears from welling. Thinking about this journey and all that I have learned during my stay here -- I think that it's very interesting how things come full-circle.

We started our 10-day journey at the adoption agency in Seoul and tomorrow I will be flying into LAX, much like I did 20 years and four months ago. When I was 5 months old, I didn't understand what coming home really felt like, but now I do. Though these are my biological people, as Dorothy once said, "There's no place like home."

Coming to Korea, I didn't know what to expect. I was excited, scared, and nervous to come back to my birthplace.  I was excited to see a new place and to travel to the farthest east I have ever been. I was scared to find out something that I thought I didn't want to know, and I was nervous about the language barrier.

The excitement never wore off... this place is unreal. And for everything this country has been through, it is truly amazing to see where they are today. Seoul becomes an entirely different place at night. The street vendors come out to sell their delicacies, the young couples come out after work, and the college students take long walks along the stream.

I was scared that I would be told things that I didn't want to hear. But in life, you have to hear the hard stuff to grow and to really evaluate what and who's important. The things that I have learned about my history, Korea's history and my family's history will forever shape the way that I look at the past, present, and future.

The language barrier was no issue on this trip. We got around with much ease (and sometimes with a little confusion), but I just feel bad for all of the people who tried to speak to me in Korean and I didn't respond because I didn't hear them or didn't know they were talking to me!

Like I said in a previous post, my life has been handed to me on a silver platter -- and I acknowledge that. I am surrounded by love every day, and even for that I am thankful. From this day forward I pledge to live a life of love, kindness and humility. Though I came here looking for nothing, I feel as though I have found everything. Though it saddens me that it took me almost 21 years to realize how good I have it, better late than never.

I want to thank you all for sharing this experience with me. The feedback I have gotten from everyone has made all of my blogging worthwhile. You all were with me on this trip: sharing my raw emotions, seeing exactly what I have seen, and coming with me on the most meaningful journey of my entire life.

Love you all! See everyone State-side!

xo Meryl

Howard's Last Thoughts

The Demilitarized Zone (DMZ)

Today we went on a tour of the Demilitarized Zone (the area in between the border of North and South Korea) I've never been to a place so divided. The Demilitarized Zone is 160 miles long from coast to coast and is about 2.5 miles wide. Though it is called the Demilitarized Zone, it is the most heavily guarded border in the entire world.

When we first went into the DMZ, our first stop was the Joint Security Area this is a camp that is secured by the United Nations Command (UNC) and from this area, we had to leave all of our belongings on the bus and go onto a special UNC bus with a South Korean gard as well as a South Korean solider as our driver. No one can enter this area without a guest badge and a soldier.

Before we got onto our UNC bus, we had a debriefing. We had to sign a waiver that basically said that no country or army is responsible if anything were to happen to us. I was so nervous -- it felt like I was signing my life away. In the debriefing we were told no pointing to the north (the North Koreans don't like that), we could only take about 2 minutes of pictures when the guards told us, and we had to walk two-by-two in line when we got to the border.

In the DMZ, on either side of the border are South and North Korean villages. On the south side, Freedom Village is home to about 250 people that are wealthy rice farmers, but have a curfew from 11:00pm to 4:00am. On the north side is what the South Koreans call "Propoganda"Village. The village on the north side of the border is built to give the illusion that the people in North Korea live very prosperously. The lights in the village are turned on and off at certain times and there are no actual people who live there, it is just there to show that the North Koreans live well even though most of them do not.

North Korea's "Propaganda" Village (Image from Wikipedia)

I was actually scared. Our tour guide, Laura, told us during our bus ride that at the entrance of the North Korean building that we would visit are two South Korean soldiers in order to protect tourists because the North Koreans once opened the doors to the buildings and tried to grab tourists.

Usually, we are allowed to cross the border and go into the building that is on the northern side of the DMZ, but today we could not because the North Koreans had tour groups there.

It was amazing. We were standing on one side trying to get a glimpse of North Korean people while they were on the other side trying to get a glimpse of us.

North Korean tourists and a North Korean soldier.

I was actually somewhat relieved that we didn't cross the border, the sheer thought of it made me uneasy.

Something else that I thought was interesting was that at the border the South Korean soldiers face the North in order to protect the tourists, but the North Korean soldiers also face the north in fear that while they are not looking, someone will try and flee North Korea for South Korea.

In front of the blue building are South Korean soldiers. Where the dark grey pathway ends and becomes lighter is the actual border of North and South Korea. On the lighter side of the pathway are North Korean soldiers.

I have never been to anywhere so intense in my entire life. We couldn't even point to the north side of the border. Today was one of the most interesting things I will ever experience in my entire life. 60 years ago, my grandfather fought in the Korean War, but sadly it is not over -- there is a cease fire, but the war is not over.

I can only hope that there is a brighter future for those in North Korea and that one day there will be a peaceful, democratic unification of the two countries. Though it may be far beyond my time, one can only hope. I am so thankful for my freedom. I am thankful for the people that protect my freedom as a citizen of the United States, and for the freedoms that I am granted as simply being a citizen of the United States.

Anyway, that is all for today. I am leaving tomorrow, can you all believe it? I'm going to go walk around the city a little bit with my parents and grab dinner and then it's packing, packing, packing!

Until tomorrow,
Meryl

Back to Seoul

Goodmorning! I woke up feeling relaxed this morning -- it's nice we've been able to sleep in here in Busan. Today we are heading back to Seoul for another couple days and then our trip is over, can you all believe how fast this came and went?

Today we are heading back on the train to Seoul back to our first hotel, and I am going to do some souvenir shopping tonight!

Tomorrow we are heading to the DMZ or the Demilitarized Zone, the border of North and South Korea. I am glad we went to the U.N. Memorial Cemetery yesterday as a prelude to our day tomorrow.

Then on Saturday we fly back to the U.S. and get back around 11:30am!

Buddhist Temple and the UN Memorial Cemetery

My view of the Japan Sea at breakfast this morning.

Buddhist Temple 

Today was the first time in my life where I have been absolutely and completely breath taken by a place. We were picked up at our hotel by a guide at 11:00am and headed to a Buddhist temple here in Busan. What makes this temple unique is that it is built on a cliff overlooking the ocean whereas normal Buddhist temples are built in the mountains. With Buddha's birthday coming up, there were lanterns hung everywhere, and there were people working to hang the lanterns as well.

Our tour guide explained to us the purposes of each room in the temple, and we walked around the temple for about an hour and a half. The pictures don't do the beauty of the temple justice -- you all will have to come here and see it for yourselves!

U.N. Memorial Cemetery

My grandfather never talks about his service in the army, and I was unaware that he served in the U.N. Armed Forces in Korea during the Korean War. He has been to Busan, Seoul, and I'm sure other parts of the country as well. Going to the U.N. Memorial Cemetery gave me a clearer understanding of the Korean War. The U.N. Memorial Cemetery has dedications to the fallen soldiers of Korea, United States, United Kingdom, Philippines, Canada, Turkey, Australia, New Zealand, Ethiopia, Greece, Thailand, France, Columbia, Belgium, South Africa, Netherlands, and Luxembourg. 

When we went into the memorabilia building at the cemetery, the little old Korean men there were so sweet and when they found out that my grandfather had served time in Korea, they lit up and said to thank him for his service and for protecting their country. They had also fought in the Korean War, and it was nice to talk to them because they were so excited to tell us anything we wanted to know. 

After about an hour and a half at the cemetery, we headed back to the hotel for some lunch at a Irish pub in our hotel -- O'Kims -- HA! My ruben hit the spot!

That's all for now! I am off to go with my parents to walk along the water and then through a nearby park!

Busan

I wish I could explain to you all how beautiful this city is. Though I was skeptical at first because the train station is in the industrial area, Busan is the perfect amount of city and beach. Though it is the second largest city in South Korea, Busan's population is about 3 million compared to the 13 million people living in Seoul.

After arriving in Busan at around 1:00pm, my parents and I checked into our hotel and then walked around for a bit. We had lunch at this delicious French bakery, where you go around with tongs and a tray and choose everything you want -- the food was simple, yet so tasty.

Walking around Busan after lunch was fun and we stumbled upon a local fish market. The first tank I noticed when walking along the street were eel, tons of them swimming around in the tank waiting for their ultimate fate. There were various other types of fish, crab, and even urchins. It was crazy to me how much fish and seafood there was in just one small block. The smells were unreal. I can't explain to you all the magnitude of the stench that I thought would cling to my clothes -- luckily, it didn't. My mom wanted to stop and take pictures, and I just wanted to get out of there (the thought of it is making my stomach turn). I will post pictures of the market tomorrow.

Busan is known for their fish so tonight we went for sushi at an all you can eat sushi bar called Happy Sushi. The food was delicious and we all left feeling happy and completely full.

We walked around a little more after dinner and though we haven't even spent 24-hours here yet, the mood here is quite refreshing. The crowds are nowhere near as pushy as those in Seoul, and it's a much more laid back scene then what we have experienced over the past several days.

Tomorrow we are heading to Buddhist Temple to learn more about the history of Buddhists in the area (and because Buddha's birthday is coming up here in South Korea), and after we will be taking a tour of the U.N. Memorial Cemetery in Busan. Tomorrow should give us a deeper look into the history of this city and of it's inhabitants.

I am still super full from dinner. With a full tummy, tired legs, and tired eyes I am going to say goodnight to you all for the evening! (And goodmorning to you all in the States!)

I hope you all reading from back home have a great day!

Something to think about.

When we were shopping today I held a door open for an old little Chinese woman. She called to her husband, pointed at me, walked through the door and grabbed me by my cheeks with a huge smile on her face. Her husband was laughing in the back and looked at me and said, "Thank you."

Remember how far one small act of kindness can go. Happiness and kindness both go two ways, and most often hand-in-hand.

Goodnight!
xx Meryl

SEOUL

Shout out to my city though I hardly be in town. - Drake

I forgot to mention to you all that the file my parents were given left out where I was born. My biological mother was born in a remote village in the countryside, but she moved to Seoul to find work to help support her family. I was born in Seoul, and my mother was 20-years-old when she gave birth.

It's amazing to me how Seoul is the largest city in the developed world. My grandfather was stationed in Korea during the war, and said that everything in the city was destroyed when he was there in the 50s. Just 60 years later it has become one of the strongest economies int he world and is a leader of the technological world.

I have been milking the fact that this is my city to my parents. The other night, I directed us to CPK and my parents said that they were impressed I remembered how to get there my response was, "This is my city. It's in my blood."As much as I want to say I'm joking, I'm not. I feel a weird connection to this city -- maybe it's the fact that people automatically speak to me in Korean like I could just fit in with the crowd. Maybe it's my history in this place, even though it was a short one. Maybe it's the fact that this city is so different then anything I have ever experienced -- and I want to experience it all.

Whatever my connection with this city is, over the past 4 days I have fallen in love with it. Tomorrow we are heading to Busan, the second largest city in South Korea. Busan is a port city much more south than Seoul. I am excited to see other parts of the country within the next few days, but I am already excited to come back here on Thursday.

Getting lost and finding Seoul

Whoever invented the map was pure genius. Without it, I would have probably taken one too many wrong turns and ended up -- well, you know the end of the story.

In the midst of my delusional state of mind last night, I forgot to add last night that yesterday was our last day with Luna! My parents and I could not stop saying and thinking about how lucky we were that she was our tour guide. She taught us what to order, where to go, and she really made our experience better than anything we could have done ourselves (and trust me, we probably wouldn't be able to do much without her).

The folk village yesterday was probably one of my favorite parts of this trip so far. It was really cool to see how Koreans used to live centuries ago. It was interesting to compare the styles of the homes in Eastern tradition vs. Western tradition. It was also fun to see people dressed up in traditional Korean costume.

One of the funniest things at the folk village was the government building at the jail. At the government building in traditional Korea, the judge would sit above the criminal, and sentence him to punishment. In the courtyard of the building, there were different traditional Korean torture devices.. that were able to be used. We made my dad lie down so that my mom could hit him with a paddle, and a group of Koreans came over and told my dad to sit in a different chair, and they showed him how it was really done. We were all laughing hysterically -- it was hilarious.

My mom's cousin Jeff joined us yesterday for the day at the folk village, and it was so nice to see family in Korea. Seeing him reminded me of home, and showed us just how small the world has become.

Today we had the whole day free. In the morning, we stopped at Cafe Benne for breakfast and then went to a shopping area around the palace we went to on the second day. What normally would take us a 20 minute walk took us 2 hours because my parents read the map wrong.. (thank goodness I was there). We ended up making it to our destination, but still had no idea which direction to go.

We got back to our hotel, rested for a while and then went out shopping for a bit around 6:00pm. The streets get so crazy at night. In the evenings, all the young people (and young couples, *sob*) come out for shopping, fried octopus legs, and more shopping. Evenings here are a completely different world than during the day.

After browsing through the malls, stores, and street vendors, we stopped to eat at a Korean barbecue restaurant. The food was once again superb, and we left with a full belly. 

Dinner led to wanting to walk around more after our feast, and we browsed more shops in the Myeongdong area. We came back to the hotel, had a drink in the lounge and came back to our rooms to do some packing.

We are heading to Busan tomorrow and I can't wait!

Update

Hi all! I'm so sorry but I am way too drained to post tonight! I have lots to say, so I will post tomorrow (and tomorrow we are free all day)! To give you all a short overview, today was so much fun. I loved the folk village and seeing my mom's cousin, Jeff. For dinner, we ate at the top floor of the Seoul tower. The food was delicious (it was Fench cuisine), and the wine went down smoothly -- almost too smoothly (that's why I'm so tired). I will update with ,more pictures and some more random thoughts of Seoul tomorrow! Love you all! Goodnight, Xx Meryl

Finally FAMOU$

Oh my word. This day has been one of the longest days of my life. I was on my feet today for a legitimate  10 hours. We met up with Luna and her friend, Jun, at the hotel at 9:30am, and our first stop of the day was Starbucks, of course. After Starbucks, we walked to Gyeongbokgung Palace to see how Kings in 14th century Korea lived. On our way to the palace, we came across a stream in the middle of the city -- a reminder to me that Korea is the perfect mix of tradition and modernity.

Gyeongbokgung Palace

This great palace was built during the Chosun dynasty. It was very interesting to see how these kings lived -- much different than those of Europe but lavish lifestyles, nonetheless.

Insa-dong

After the palace, we walked over to Insa-dong to see the famous Korean shopping area. This is exactly what I pictured Seoul to be. In the main part of Seoul. 

When we first got to the main shopping area, we were approached by students with cameras. They wanted to know if we knew a famous Korean actor that they showed us a picture of, and we said no. They interviewed us about the first impressions of his picture and what we thought about him. Koreans were crowding around us taking pictures, and we found out later that they were filming us for a Korean entertainment show -- similar to Entertainment Tonight. 

We ate lunch at a traditional Korean restaurant and yet again the food was delicious.

There were tons of food vendors on the street, and we stopped for some Korean pancakes, but we didn't stop for the larvae that were cooking -- well, we did but only for a picture. 

After some souvenir shopping, we stopped at a traditional Korean tea house and because we had been eating food non-stop, all day, we decided to share two cups of tea just so we could all have a taste.

Luna and I

After tea we decided to do more shopping at the Lotte department store, and then in Zara (which is much cheaper here). By the time we got back to the hotel room at about 7:30pm, I was dead tired and relaxed for a bit. 

We decided to go to dinner tonight at CPK here in Seoul because we all wanted something easy, something that we all know. After CPK, we decided to end our evening and our long day with a donut from Krispy Kreme.

It's 10:36pm now, and I am basically falling asleep at my computer.

Tomorrow, we are going to the Williamsburg of Korea, a folk village where the people are dressed in costume and act as if they are from another time. My mom's cousin, Jeff, is meeting us at the folk village and it will be nice to see family so far from home.

Until tomorrow,

Meryl 

Rambles

I wrote in a previous post that I wasn't looking for much of anything on this trip, and I didn't come on this trip intending to find out more than I already know about myself. Though I have only been here for 24-hours, I have learned more about myself in the past 24-hours than I have throughout my entire life.

Throughout my entire life, I have attributed my luck and my good fortune to fate. Fate matched me with my parents, fate brought me to the University of Arizona, and fate brought me to this Earth.

More often then not I end up thinking about what is really important in life, and what my goals in life should be. As far as I know, I have one life to live -- how am I going to spend it?

Though at times I don't feel Korean, I always feel special. I feel special because of where I am now compared to where I could -- or couldn't -- be. I feel special because of the luck I have had with fate. I've been handed a royal flush but I have never really taken the time to pay attention to the beautiful details of the cards until now.

In the past 24-hours this of trip have humbled me to the fullest degree. I am so thankful for health, for happiness, for my friends and family, and for every single encounter with anyone I have ever had in my entire life. I will stand by the saying that every person I have ever encountered in my life has made an impact on my life and on who I am as a person today.

That's enough rambling for tonight.

굿나잇,
Meryl

Back to my roots

Holt Korea - The Adoption Agency

What a whirlwind of a day! My emotions have been running crazy with going to visit the adoption agency first thing this morning. There were some things that were left out of my file that was given to my parents when I came to the United States, and I was able to hear more of my biological mother's story -- it was a little heavy for first thing in the morning.

My last name in Korean is Oh. It is one of the most common Korean last names, probably relatable to Smith in the United States. When the adoption agency named me, they decided to give me my biological mother's last name. Soo Kyung is my given name by the adoption agency. My first given name, Soo, means "excellence," and my second given name, Kyung, means "happy event."

We weren't able to meet my foster mother because she wasn't able to be reached at the last minute. She is now in her 70s and lives quite far from the adoption agency in a suburb of Seoul. Our social worker told us that the last time she saw her was in January at a foster mother-adoptee reunion. My foster mother cared for around 70 babies during her time working for the agency. I was number 12 of 70 -- and let's be honest, probably the favorite.

The social worker that we talked to about my file was named Esther. She was adopted by a Jewish family from Michigan when she was a young girl and has come to Korea to work for the adoption agency. She told us about Korean adoptees in European countries and places in the United States where communities are less diverse. She told me that I am lucky to have grown up in California, a place where the demographics are more diverse than other parts of the country.

After talking to Ester about my birthmother's history, we went to see some of the babies that do not yet have homes. It's weird to think that just 20 years ago, I was one of these babies. I was number nine hundred and something out of thousands of babies that were put up for adoption in that year -- I wonder if adoptees that came for a homeland tour played with me while I was in the care of Holt in 1991.

Most of the babies that were in the care of Holt were boys, because many adoptive parents domestically want to adopt baby girls. Of the eight babies in Holt, one was a baby girl. It was nice to see these children and know that they have their whole lives ahead of them. If they understood me, I would tell them how great their lives will be. All of the babies were pretty chubbs, so I don't feel as bad anymore.

Playing with the babies was so much fun, but ultimately we had to face the fact that we couldn't take one home. My dad thinking he's funny and being the practical one of the family said, "If we took one home, I would be paying college tuition until I'm 80!"

Touring Seoul

After going to the adoption agency, we met our volunteer tour guide, Luna. Luna will be taking us around Korea for the next few days, and she is so sweet and so cute! She first took us to Korea's National Museum and we walked around the gardens and the museum for a bit. There were so many kids running around, it was crazy!

Later, we went to Meyongdong -- a major shopping area close to our hotel. While there, we ate lunch of a traditional Korean meal at a restaurant that has been around for 50 years. At lunch we ate traditional Korean noodles, dumplings, soybean noodles, kimchi, and much more, it was delicious.

We continued to walk around Meyongdong after lunch, and we ran into a Korean movie star. I'm forgetting his name now (I'll ask Luna tomorrow), but dang that was a good-looking Korean man and the girls in the street were going crazy!

Now, we're back in the hotel relaxing for a while, it's been a long day! We still have dinner later, but for now I am going to make a cup of green tea.

SEOUL

After a full day of flying, we made it! The first thing I saw when I got off the plane was a Dunkin Donuts and a 7-Eleven -- and they're EVERYWHERE. We didn't get to see much last night because it was dark out and because I slept for the hour car ride from the airport to the hotel. I can't believe I was awake for 21 hours.

Because of jet lag, I woke up this morning at 6am Korea time, which is about 2pm in the US.

I am getting ready for our big day -- today we're touring the adoption agency!

I am so excited, everything seems so surreal.

Lots of love,
Meryl

Mom and I at Narita International Airport

TOKYO

I'm officially in Tokyo! The flight went so quickly, and it's so weird that we are here! Though it feels like 2am to me considering the time change, we have a two hour layover here and then we have another two and a half hour flight over to Seoul.

Japan is unreal. It's so cool! The airport is pretty quiet and feels very calm. Getting off the plane, I kind of hurried ahead of my parents, and passed by the flight attendants who all said, "Arigato," while bowing. I was pretty ahead of my parents so when I got off, I waited for them. Looking back, they were the only white people in a sea of Asians. I couldn't help but laugh.

Anyway, we are in Tokyo, and I am sad we aren't staying here longer!

Now for some duty free shopping!

:)
Meryl

En route blog: The 6-Hour Mark

En route blog #1: The 6-hour mark.

I’m getting bored. So I thought I would share with you all the happenings of the past several hours. By the way, thank goodness they have a computer charger on this flight, I think I’m starting to annoy my poor father.

As we were walking to our gate, I spotted some Israelis, I think I have some sort of radar. There was an El Al flight leaving at the gate next to mine, and it made me think about the past two years. Two years ago, I went on Birthright, one of the most meaningful trips that I have ever taken. It was so meaningful that last year, I traveled to Israel again during the summer to visit friends.  I have recently heard from a few people from my Birthright trip wishing me safe travels, and it made me realize how much a 10-day trip changed my life and how many great friends I made on that trip, and it made me wonder what’s in store for me on this 10-day trip.

We got to our gate, got situated, and when the workers for the airline were letting us through the gate to the plane, the lady that works for Japan Airlines spoke to me in Japanese, saying “Konichiwa,” and then thank you in Japanese when she gave me my ticket back. My parents were spoken to in English. Though I didn’t understand her, she didn’t know that. I politely bowed and went on my way.

Six hours down, five more to go. Turns out that the flight to Japan is only 11 hours and some change – not bad. For the past few hours I’ve eaten, napped, and watched Joyful Noise (Note to Rachel Martin: I liked it!). Though I do like anything entertaining on flights longer than 2 hours. The movie got me a little teary actually, I’m such a sap. 

During the first hour on the flight, passengers are given two meal options: a Japanese meal or a Western meal. My mom went vegetarian because she wanted to play it safe with food allergies. My dad and I looked over the menu, looked at each other and said, “When in Rome (or Japan, rather).” Our first course consisted of a selection of nine seasonal Japanese delicacies. It was interesting because I had no idea what I was eating, until halfway through when my mom gave me the menu that showed what each delicacy was. Our main course was beef and tomato “Sukiyaki” style – whatever that means. It was delicious. Our meal came with steamed rice and miso soup.

When I land in 5 hours, I will be in Asia. It will be the farthest east I will have ever been in my life.

That’s all for now, friends! It’s dinnertime in the States, I’m getting hungry so I’m going to get a snack!

My snack: Udon noodles.. yum!

Until Tokyo!

Meryl

Here’s another funny food story relating to my childhood and being Korean: My parents wanted to take me to a Korean BBQ/hibachi restaurant when I was younger. I think I was about 6 or 7 at the time, and my mom looked up a Korean BBQ restaurant and found one in Simi Valley, California. When the waiter came over to order, I asked him if I could have a bagel with butter. There were my parents trying to give me a unique cultural experience, and I asked for a bagel. So embarrassing, what a confused child I was.

LAX

I completely forgot to mention something that I was thinking about during the drive from Thousand Oaks, CA to LAX. For the past couple weeks I have been researching Korean culture and I stumbled upon a Korean-Pop band that is actually pretty good. I forgot their name but I will post one of their songs later. We just checked out bags, went through security, and now we're relaxing a bit before boarding. While checking our bags, I picked up a pamphlet from Japan Airlines of what I assume is an entertainment schedule for their flights. I picked up the pamphlet, flipped through it, and didn't understand one word. Well, I understood the numbers. I'm sitting currently in the OneWorld lounge at LAX surrounded by business men and women. My dad, Howard is having some hummus and tabuli, as we wait to embark on our journey. I've been more emotional than I thought I would be. Within the past 24-hours, I've gotten a bit teary thinking of the trip that lies just an hour away. The thing is, I don't know what will happen within the next 10 days. I can't tell the future and all I can do is sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. Maybe I should walk around a little before getting on such a long flight. 12 hours to Japan! My dad and I made a pact that when we are in Japan for just two and a half hours, we will go and eat sushi just to say that. Have eaten sushi in Japan. Thank you all for your kind words and feedback on my blog! I love hearing what you all think. Love, Meryl

Number 1 on my playlist

Every Tuesday I stalk Timeflies onYoutube, waiting for them to release their weekly video for "Timeflies Tuesday." Cal and Rez make an amazing duo, and they make awesome music. This is the latest video by them, a cover of Future's Same Damn Time (how precious is Cal's laugh? ...not creepy). Anyway, this song is my current song of the moment and if you know me, I get really into a song for about a week and then get annoyed with it (which is why it is so great that they come out with a new song every week). So I expect to be rockin' to this song for at least 5 hours. Ha!

Alright, I'm off to the airport! 

Next stop, LAX!

Meryl

This is it

In 8 hours I will wake up, finish packing and head to LAX. As I sit here in my room and look around, I immediately see The OC complete Season 2, a certificate of recognition from the California State Assembly for the Holocaust Remembrance Project, a Jonas Brothers poster, the hamsa above my bed, and my trusty teddy bear, Teddy. In this moment I realize that there is no difference between me and any of my other friends who were raised here in Thousand Oaks, California -- except my skin color.

I try to explain this out-of-body experience to people, but sometimes they don't understand. I don't feel Korean. When I talk to someone on the street, when I am out and about, I don't feel Korean. If anything, I'm just a brown haired, brown eyed girl. I don't think about my race because I'm American. But the reality of it is that I am not a white American. Though at times I don't feel Asian, racist jokes still hurt. People that don't know me can't tell my history from my exterior, and people that do know me, think that I don't care because of my history. Though I don't feel Korean, I am Korean. It's a weird feeling. 

Over the past few days, people have told me, "I hope you find what you are looking for." The truth is, I'm not looking for much. I'm looking to see where I was born, learn about the culture, and the history of the place, and maybe learn a little bit of my own history. Honestly, how can I complain? I am living a privileged life. Right this moment, I could be living in Korea with a very different lifestyle. I was born in a town that is so small, so remote, it doesn't exist anymore. My dad jokes and says that I'm a "country girl."

Though, it would be nice to find out my family medical history.

Yesterday I was swamped with doctors appointments. I hadn't been to the dentist since 2010, and I hadn't been to the eye doctor since 2005. With my absence for the past few years, came new paperwork to fill out at the doctor's office. And with that paperwork came questions of my family medical history. I have never known, nor will I ever know my biological family's medical history. Family medical history would be nice to know, in case I have to expect anything.

A couple of last minute, late night thoughts before hitting the hay.

Goodnight friends, and until tomorrow!

xx (that one's for you, Tavia),

Meryl

TOMORROW

Amidst packing and organizing and last minute errands, the pure excitement is finally settling in. In less than 24 hours, I will be heading to Los Angeles International Airport to embark on this incredible journey. I already have my outfit planned for the airplane and I am about 80% finished with all of my packing.

This is my flying outfit. When flying we all just want to be comfortable, but who says we can't look cute too? My shirt is the best oversized tee and it is so comfortable! My jeans are more like jeggings (I know, I know -- but they're unbelievably comfy). And finally, I always wear sneakers on the plane, and bring comfy socks, too.

Shirt: Brandy Melville

Jeans: Seven for All Mankind

Shoes: Superga

Ahhh so much to do, so little time! I can't believe tomorrow's the day!

Lots of love everyone!

Until tomorrow,
Meryl

"Tomorrow I can say, 'Tomorrow!'"

Two days before every trip I take I say, "Tomorrow, I can say, 'Tomorrow!'" It's just another one of my stupid sayings.

While surfing the web, looking at various websites titled, "Things for Americans to know in Korea," I started to get pretty nervous. I saw one picture of a college town near the women's college in Seoul that is known for it's shopping, and everything was in Korean -- the street signs, the menus, the store names, EVERYTHING. Of course, that is something that in my mind I obviously expect, but seeing the picture of the street made it seem so real and then I thought to myself, that street is real... How on Earth are my parents and I going to communicate with these people knowing just hello, goodbye, and thank you?

My dad told me that he can't wait to see the moment that a Korean comes up to me and starts speaking to me in Korean, expecting me to speak Korean too. I told him that hopefully I will stick out enough that someone won't come up to me and automatically start speaking in Korean because I wouldn't even know how to respond. However, if someone does come up to me and speaks Korean, I will be flattered. (That happened in Italy once, it was really weird. Non parlo Italiano.)

One of my biggest concerns as of right now is the language barrier, and how to break that. I'm trying to learn how to say things online, but it's not helping much! I went to Italy last summer not knowing any Italian, and I got by. I went to Spain over spring break and got by on my first-semester knowledge of Spanish (Hola, ¿Como estas?, Me llamo Meryl). We'll see about a different language in a different alphabet, how confusing can it be?

On a completely random and unrelated side note, you all must see how precious my dog looks right now. I sacrificed my penguin Pillow Pet for my dogs, and now one of my dogs, Ollie sleeps in my room with it. I call him Muffin Top because of his badass Jew fro. He's staring at me while I'm blogging looking extra-comfy.

Back to my rambles.

I think it's time I come out with it because I can't contain my excitement anymore. One thing I am pretty excited for is... the fight. Traveling with my parents is something that I haven't been able to do much of while in college. I travel usually as a college student, on a budget, and pretty frugally. Traveling with my parents in luxury is a rare treat. 

We are taking Japan Airlines and are flying on business executive class. Despite having the luxury of extra legroom (which I usually don't need because I am 5'1"), I am excited for the inflight meals.. is that weird? I mean, they have bento boxes as their cuisine. Usually, I only get bento boxes at my favorite sushi restaurant in Westlake Village. What I can't wrap my head around is that people in Japan eat them every. single. day. What a concept! They also serve green tea on the plane. Sometimes I wonder if the fact that I get excited about Asian cuisines is inherent in my genetics, or just personal preference.

One story (relating to food) before I go to bed and call it a night:

The woman that owns the dry cleaners we go to, Shauna was telling me once (more complaining, really) that her granddaughter only likes American breakfast. "Soo Kyung, I don't know what to do! She only likes American cereal! She doesn't like a traditional Korean breakfast," she said. I asked her, "Well, what is a traditional Korean breakfast?" She replied, "Rice!"

I thought to myself, no wonder she doesn't like a traditional Korean breakfast! Ask a kid to go from sugar every morning to rice, which one do you think the kid's going to choose? 

I am going to try and write down all my feelings on a notepad of right when I get off the plane in Tokyo. I want to remember the feelings I have of first landing in a completely new continent that I have not yet conquered (well, I've been to Israel but real Asia. Asian, Aisa.. not Middle Eastern Asia). I'll write down all of my feelings and post them for you all to see. 

Of course, I'll be documenting the entire flight -- I have 12 hours to do nothing. It's me we're talking about -- I'm sure I'll have a good story from the flight. I've got some good ones already from my previous travels: an elderly woman trying to steal my luggage at Miami International Airport, an Israeli taxi driver telling me that 20-years difference isn't a big deal and that he wanted to marry me,  a man next to me on a flight from Barcelona to Dallas drinking about 5 beers while I'm sitting there with a hangover, and once I fell asleep on a grandmother taking her grandkids to tour Italy.

I have loads to do within the next couple days, but it'll all be worth it come Wednesday.

I can't wait to depart on this journey!

Tomorrow I can say, "Tomorrow!"

Lots of love,

Meryl

Happy Mother's Day - 3 days!

I thought you guys would enjoy seeing these photos! I came across my travel certificate from Korea, look what a fat little baby I was! Unreal. 

This picture is of my foster mother and I at the airport before she sent me on the plane to Los Angeles, California on January 29, 1992. She had me for the first 5 months of my life and took care of me as a baby, and for that I am truly thankful.

This is my first day at home in Los Angeles with my mom, Ellen, on January 29, 1992.

I want to take the time to recognize my mom, Ellen, for everything she has done for me and given me throughout my life. I am truly blessed to have been adopted by my parents, and I believe fate played a major role in matching my parents and my brother with me. My mom has been there for me throughout it all, and I don't know where I would be without her. Though we have our moments, our love stays the same, and I couldn't ask for more.

A big shout-out to all the moms out there who give us life, guide us through life, and ask for nothing but love in return.

Lots of love,
Meryl